Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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