i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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