your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize