Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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