My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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