He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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