Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize