Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
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He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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