can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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