You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize