he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize