12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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