why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize