you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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