This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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