I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
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On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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