I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
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You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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