burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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