i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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