If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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