I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize