i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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