dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize