i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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