I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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