all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize