On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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