Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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