tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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