id be glad to
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
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My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
His nipple licking is glorious
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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