I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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