the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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