We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize