We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize