this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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