im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Umm I'm too high to move.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
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Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I deserve this hangover.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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