I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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