do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize