Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize