Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize