you win again, gameday.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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