So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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