On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize