Already got asked if we're dating
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize