it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize