If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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