i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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