There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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