So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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