coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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